Child Custody Court Hearings - What to Expect at Your First Custody Hearing
Nothing puts a knot in the pit of your stomach in quite the way the way that going to a custody hearing at family court does. One of the most frequent questions I see is "What should I expect?". Well if you haven't been there or your last experience was bad, then you will want to spend some time educating yourself about what happens and how you should both prepare and act.
Unless you are nearing the end of your court journey and heading to settlement conferences and the like, you will normally have about 15 minutes or less. Excuse me, but that 15 minutes is for your hearing, not the amount of time that you get to speak. By the time the judge speaks, your ex speaks and then you get to have a say you're looking at about 5 minutes.
So your life and your child's fate all comes down to how you spend your 5 minutes. Think about that for just a moment. You have so much to say and if you put yourself in front of a total stranger for 5 minutes, do you think they would see your side? Maybe. And now let that total stranger get 5 minutes with the ex telling them what a horrible person you are. What do you think will happen? Most people aren't optimistic at this point. I mean how are you going to possibly explain all of the ugliness that your ex can put out in 5 minutes?
So now that you're convinced no possible good can come from this hearing, let's look at the title again. "What to expect at you first custody hearing". You see the scenario above is what could happen if you don't prepare. But what would happen if we did things a bit differently.
Take the case of a man I just helped prepare for his hearing. He was terrified that his ex was going to leave the state with his child and he would not be able to see her. You see she had remarried and was going to relocate to a military base. This wasn't a threat, this was a foregone conclusion. He was desperate and knew that arguing wasn't going to get him what he wanted.
He was right to be scared and absolutely correct that he would not accomplish anything by arguing. So what I did was taught him to focus his 5 minutes on the issue of his case. No matter what the ex accused him of or how she tried to change the conversation, he was to bring it back focus on not moving his daughter out of state.
When the court date came mother made some rather awful allegations about father and when the judge asked father what he thought of them, father responded, "these issues have no bearing on this motion". The judge agreed and chastised mother. After that it was all downhill for mother and all uphill for father. They were ordered to evaluation and father was awarded temporary custody in the event that mother should need to move before evaluation was not yet complete. You see, what you need to expect is that the court will hear what you have to say. So choose what you want to talk about and focus your 5 minutes.
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Article Source: ArticlesBase.com
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government child support guidelines!?
I found out from the Canadian child support government tables that if the paying parent makes less then eight thousand a year they do not have to pay any support! I read a lot of angry responds on here towards some one a women whom pays and has a medical illness that prevents her from working and a lot of people jumped nastily at her from here! I wonder what she could do if her illness medically prevented her from working How would she pay support if she cant work!
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HOW TO MAKE HIM SIGN THE MARRIAGE SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT AND CHILD SUPPORT GUIDELINE FORMS?
My sister is in a dilemma. The (abusive) guy she is divorcing is refusing to comply with her request to sign the Marriage Settlement Agreement. The situation is that she is in the middle of a pro se' divorce action. They have one son and very little, if any assets. A divorce that should have taken a few months, at best, is taking almost a year because of the obsticles my sister is encountering. First, the last Marital Settlement she attempted to file with the courts could not be filed, because her soon to be ex-husband is not being cooperative at all and as you know, in order for her to proceed, she needs his signature on the document in order to file it. She has been trying to send him the Marital Settlement Agreement for several months, now - to no avail. He refuses to provide her with either his home address or his work address. She attempted to contact his parents in an effort to convince them to forward the settlement to him, but that attempt has also been futile. In addition, she have been trying to get his income amount, so that she would fill out the Child Support Guideline form and is meeting resistance, from him, yet again.
The last time she spoke with him about the forms, he hung up on her. Since it appears that all lines of communication have been broken, and since she cannot afford to hire an attorney, from your perspective what can she do to resolve this problem? She wants her divorce to move ahead. The marriage cannot be repaired but it appears to me that he is, nevertheless, trying to stall it. Any advice? Only mature and serious responses please. Appreciate your input.
Do you know what the proper name is for the 30 Notice? I am looking it up and can't seem to find it.
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Does a child from a previous marriage factor in to child support?
My husband and I are getting divorced. We have resolved everything but the child support. We will be doing 50/50 custody so both of us are responsible for our daughter in terms of school/health insurance etc?He makes about 1k more than I do which isn?t a lot but I have a daughter from a previous marriage. Does that factor in to how much I am able to pay? I do get child support from her dad for her but it is an insubstantial amount so I carry the weight of her bills (school/insurance/clothes/food/everything) So basically if he makes only a little more than I do but only has to support himself and our daughter while I have to support both my girls and myself does that factor into the child support guidelines? I am looking for answers from people who have experienced this or anyone who works in child custody/divorce.
Thank you so much.
Alena,
While I agree with you we should be responsible for our children - my ex is living in a house his parents own. He pays minimal rent for it. His parents shell out money for all of my daughters things when she is at his house. I, on the other hand, have a daughter from a previous marriage (whom he raised as his own since she was 1 and she is 4 1/2 now) and our daughter together while working and going to school. I am not looking for a free ride. I just want it to be fair. If I have more bills than he does (practical bills - not new cars or new clothes or anything) than why should we pay the same.
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