Child Custody Lawsuit
4 Great Tips Dealing With Your Child Custody Case
Copyright (c) 2009 Ron Lasorsa
Child Custody
Custody is a highly litigated area of family law that can be both expensive and emotionally draining, even when done correctly. The following represents some pointers designed to help parties avoid the stress, expense and emotional damage often attributed to child custody litigation;
1. Try to come to agreements on your own: Parties who craft their own custody agreements are usually much happier with the outcome because they feel like they have played an active role in the decision and are consequently more apt to comply. In addition, you do not need an attorney to come to your own stipulation which can save hundreds, even thousands of dollars. It is far better for the two people who know a child best to come to a decision related to custody than leaving it in the hands of a stranger.
2. Seek out an experienced mediator: Custody mediators can play a crucial role in the outcome of a custody battle. These individuals can be retired attorneys, current attorneys or mediators with divorce experience, for example. The goal of mediation is to come to an agreement with which both parties can live by a give-and-take principle. Parties in mediation realize that they must give a little to get a little and the spirit of compromise is what makes mediation actually work. In the event that you are unable to come to agreements on your own, mediators can be very useful.
3. Work with existing court orders, even the recommendations: If you are in litigation and you have existing court orders, learn to work within the framework of what you have. For example, if the court order has recommended parenting classes, you should take them. Now, if the court orders you to do a proscribed activity, such as drug test or drop children off at a specific time and day, you do not have the option of whether or not to comply.
4. Seek out individual counseling: If some of your anxiety or stress stems from the fact that you are actually still grieving the loss of the relationship, it is wise to seek out private counseling to work through some of these issues to avoid the inevitable impact on your children.
The impact of divorce on children is extraordinary. Anyone who thinks that their children are not affected is not paying any attention to the obvious signs. The above are mere suggestions to avoid some or all of the emotional detriment to your child(ren) that divorce can cause such as:
- Regressive behavior: Children who experience any trauma, particularly divorce may exhibit certain regressive behaviors such as fit throwing, tantrums, refusing to sleep alone and bed wetting, for example.
- Defiance and rebelliousness: This form of disobedience might manifest itself at home or at school. It may stem from a child's desire to gain their parents attention in hopes of taking the focus off the divorce. Depending on the age and maturity of the child, they may feel as though they can actually do something to stop this divorce from happening even if it is in the form of very negative behavior.
- Social difficulty: Children who have a tumultuous home life can have difficulty interacting socially due to depression, sadness or grief at the loss of the family structure.
- Statistics: Studies show that children of divorced homes are more likely to drop out of high school (and are at a greater risk of teenage pregnancy. Children from divorced families have higher incidence of truancy and negative attitudes toward school.
Yes, there are an equal number of studies out there that support the proposition that children from divorced families are no different emotionally, academically or financially. But more than likely those funding said studies are the very individuals who profit from the big business of child custody - Family law attorneys. It has been proven time and time again that a two parent household is best and that children who have to endure the divorce of their parents suffer. Therefore, if divorce is the only option, the way to minimize and hopefully eliminate the impact on the children is to be mature, try to work things out between the two of you, seek out an experienced mediator when unable to do so, follow all court orders and get yourself the spiritual or psychological counseling YOU need to move on and be the best parent YOU can be.
Ron Lasorsa is the founder of the Kids Come First Coalition. For further help with your custody battles go to http://greatcustody411.com/
How do you 'drop' a child custody lawsuit in Texas?
We need to drop a court case; I need to find out what form to file to drop the case completely. We want it dropped intentionally and do not want to wait for the dismissal docket. We are pro per. Thanks :)
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Court ordered mediation for child custody dispute, what if other party refuses to attend?
If two parents are required to attend mediation as a step in a child custody lawsuit, what happens if one parent simply refuses to attend? Refuses to return mediator phone calls, refuses to schedule, refuses to communicate at all?
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Need to know what, if any, regulations bind landlords to provide livable conditions?
My son, unemployed, totally broke & fighting a child custody lawsuit, has been offered a vacant mobile home in Kansas City, MO. The owner will not speak to what he will do to repair or maintain the home, it is in deplorable condition but it is a possible HOME. My son has already done some work in it & has been sleeping there. Is the owner not obligated to fix such basic necessities as a working wintertime heat source, functioning appliances, locks for the doors, broken windows, accumulation of former tenant's trash...
The owner wants rent money on the 1st of Sept but will not discuss these other problems of livability. I am afraid his "generosity" comes more from just wanting the place occupied than from a desire to help someone out. Could my son be in any danger of legal ramifications by accepting this offer? What can he legally insist be done by the landlord to make the property safe & healthful to live in?
Any comments or advice will be welcomed.
I need to add to this question, my son is not a free-loader, irresponsibile guy trying to find the easiest way. He is 45 years old, has worked hard all his life. As a roofer, he fell from a three story A-frame which ended his good money jobs. Still healing from that, (2 years ago) he has gone to tile setting which he enjoys & does well at. Problem here is with the stale economy. He tries to take care of his responsibilities, but having to pay child support, fight to even be allowed to see his children, their mother is very into "hurt-him-any-way-I-can" and he is constantly having to answer to nuisance suits by her. He has just gotten too far under and has not been able to catch up. I know I sound like a mother...but I know the situation from the beginning & feel I have portrayed it honestly. His coming home to live with Mom is not an answer for either of us. Temporarily, OK, but he needs & wants to take care of himself.
I need to add to this question, my son is not a free-loader, irresponsibile guy trying to find the easiest way. He is 45 years old, has worked hard all his life. As a roofer, he fell from a three story A-frame which ended his good money jobs. Still healing from that, (2 years ago) he has gone to tile setting which he enjoys & does well at. Problem here is with the stale economy. He tries to take care of his responsibilities, but having to pay child support, fight to even be allowed to see his children, their mother is very into "hurt-him-any-way-I-can" and he is constantly having to answer to nuisance suits by her. He has just gotten too far under and has not been able to catch up. I know I sound like a mother...but I know the situation from the beginning & feel I have portrayed it honestly. His coming home to live with Mom is not an answer for either of us. Temporarily, OK, but he needs & wants to take care of himself.
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