4 Great Tips Dealing With Your Child Custody Case
Copyright (c) 2009 Ron Lasorsa
Child Custody
Custody is a highly litigated area of family law that can be both expensive and emotionally draining, even when done correctly. The following represents some pointers designed to help parties avoid the stress, expense and emotional damage often attributed to child custody litigation;
1. Try to come to agreements on your own: Parties who craft their own custody agreements are usually much happier with the outcome because they feel like they have played an active role in the decision and are consequently more apt to comply. In addition, you do not need an attorney to come to your own stipulation which can save hundreds, even thousands of dollars. It is far better for the two people who know a child best to come to a decision related to custody than leaving it in the hands of a stranger.
2. Seek out an experienced mediator: Custody mediators can play a crucial role in the outcome of a custody battle. These individuals can be retired attorneys, current attorneys or mediators with divorce experience, for example. The goal of mediation is to come to an agreement with which both parties can live by a give-and-take principle. Parties in mediation realize that they must give a little to get a little and the spirit of compromise is what makes mediation actually work. In the event that you are unable to come to agreements on your own, mediators can be very useful.
3. Work with existing court orders, even the recommendations: If you are in litigation and you have existing court orders, learn to work within the framework of what you have. For example, if the court order has recommended parenting classes, you should take them. Now, if the court orders you to do a proscribed activity, such as drug test or drop children off at a specific time and day, you do not have the option of whether or not to comply.
4. Seek out individual counseling: If some of your anxiety or stress stems from the fact that you are actually still grieving the loss of the relationship, it is wise to seek out private counseling to work through some of these issues to avoid the inevitable impact on your children.
The impact of divorce on children is extraordinary. Anyone who thinks that their children are not affected is not paying any attention to the obvious signs. The above are mere suggestions to avoid some or all of the emotional detriment to your child(ren) that divorce can cause such as:
- Regressive behavior: Children who experience any trauma, particularly divorce may exhibit certain regressive behaviors such as fit throwing, tantrums, refusing to sleep alone and bed wetting, for example.
- Defiance and rebelliousness: This form of disobedience might manifest itself at home or at school. It may stem from a child's desire to gain their parents attention in hopes of taking the focus off the divorce. Depending on the age and maturity of the child, they may feel as though they can actually do something to stop this divorce from happening even if it is in the form of very negative behavior.
- Social difficulty: Children who have a tumultuous home life can have difficulty interacting socially due to depression, sadness or grief at the loss of the family structure.
- Statistics: Studies show that children of divorced homes are more likely to drop out of high school (and are at a greater risk of teenage pregnancy. Children from divorced families have higher incidence of truancy and negative attitudes toward school.
Yes, there are an equal number of studies out there that support the proposition that children from divorced families are no different emotionally, academically or financially. But more than likely those funding said studies are the very individuals who profit from the big business of child custody - Family law attorneys. It has been proven time and time again that a two parent household is best and that children who have to endure the divorce of their parents suffer. Therefore, if divorce is the only option, the way to minimize and hopefully eliminate the impact on the children is to be mature, try to work things out between the two of you, seek out an experienced mediator when unable to do so, follow all court orders and get yourself the spiritual or psychological counseling YOU need to move on and be the best parent YOU can be.
Ron Lasorsa is the founder of the Kids Come First Coalition. For further help with your custody battles go to http://greatcustody411.com/
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com
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california child custody,, help please!!!!!?
my long timelive in girlfriend recently split up,, we have a beautiful 2 1/2 old daughter together, she lives down thestreet now, moved out 1 month ago,, my ex tok my daughter with her, and is not letting me see y daughter as much as i would like or even close,, i am totaly cool with splitting time but every other weekend and on wednesdays for a few hours,, not acceptable to me,, so i immedietly after se moved out went and filed for joint cutody,, to open a case is free butto file is more money than i have right now,, so i got the papers but they aid they werent legal untill i paid the fee,, i couldnt come up with the money in time and thought it was on hold untill i did,,, but today i got a letter in the mail saying case dismissed,, for establishing parental rights,, because of failure to pay initial fee,, ok so does that mean i can never file again,, i want my daughter,, my ex is very cruel and using my daughter against me as a weapon, had a severe mental disability, doesnt and wont work,, collects welfare, she is just not nice anymore,, i cant afford the fees because i am still paying most her bills because she wont let me see my daughter otherwise,, i can live with the visitation i have untl i come up with the money,, but when i do can i file for joint custody again,,, help me please,,,
i am the father by th way
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Change in circumstances.. Child custody..HELP?
My husband has visitation of his 6yr old (my step daughter) and we have 2 girls together. Her mom has primary custody. During summer vacation we have her every other week. Her mom just left her husband because she had an affair and after she left her husband her boyfriend ended up leaving her. Since July she has had 3 different bf's. The child is so confused and mixes up whos mommys bf. Anyway my step daughters behavior has been terrible. She was doing poorly in school but we just thought it was becasue she changed schools. She was in first grade and they put her back in prefirst because she was struggling. She got in trouble for spitting on another student and about a month later she threw milk at someone else for telling on her. My husband and I would like to get 50/50 custody of her because we feel that we have a more stable family but we also dont want to take her away from her mom. We live on the same road as her mom so its only like a 2 min drive and when we mentioned to her what we wanted to do her response was she needs one home not 2. Her soon to be ex stepdad was in her life since she was 1 1/2 so im sure she misses him. Ive been with my husband since she was 6mos. Should we step back or bring it to court. We only want whats best for her and we thought that by doing the 50/50 she would get some stability in her life. Plus if he goes to court what would the change in circumstances be? What do u think?
cutie...how old are u 5? When couples are married they make decisions together. When the child is on our time I take care of this little girl and have since she was 6mons old. Becasue I didnt give birth to her doesnt mean that my husband is the only one who makes decisions for our home. It is something that invloves me seemings how when my husband works im home with her and our other 2 children. Legally they are the 2 that go to court and the judge makes the decision. Besides im only asking for others peoples opinion so keep your negative ones to yourself!!
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Child Custody help chances of me having him?
2 Break it down my exgirl and her mom are the devils daughters.. my ex doesnt work she goes out almost every weekend and leaves my son 2 her mom..her mom is always out in the streets to so their both thesame, her mom and friends have put a lot of trash in my ex mind so were not together.. so my girl doesnt work shes wrok mexico n so is her family.. they dont have social, and they dont have a steady job and they r about to lose their house on top of everything she probly pregnant.. wat would the chances of me winning child custody be i dont want my son to grow up like her family, her 2 yr old sister has a dirty faul mouth of a 30 yr old person .. ive been buying everything to him except cloth cuz she dont lke wat i buy
this girl hates me she ignores my calls and lies 2 me uses me, i do this for the best of my son, i wouldnt really want to take him from her but shes askin for it
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